What about parents?

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Dr. Kaarin Anderson Ryan, PhD, BCBA.      6-19-19

Making Time for Yourself This Summer!

We have so many options for things our kids can do over the summer.  As I wrote about in my last post, there are activities in every community, for kids both with and without different needs.  These activities can include things for all ages, interests and budgets.  Setting up these activities, and managing the logistics of them, is a lot of work.  Put this together with the regular daily demands of work, home care, and making sure everyone eats and you may find that there is no time or energy left for yourself at the end of the day.

Although it might not be something parents pay as much attention to while they are raising kids in a busy world, there are many things available in our communities to help adults with their work-family-self balancing act.  Before we get into some of those ideas, let’s spend a minute to consider why it is important to fit time for yourself into the agenda.

We have all heard that you can’t take care of other people unless you take care of yourself.  As common-sense as this is, often busy parents put this on the back burner or ignore this logic.  Think about going on an airplane.  One of the first things they say to you during the essential safety lesson is that if the oxygen masks are needed the adult needs to put on his or her oxygen before helping a child with the mask.  Why?  Because if you run out of oxygen, you can’t help your child.  In daily life it isn’t as dramatic or critical, but it is the same concept.  If you run yourself ragged, you aren’t going to be the parent you want to be.  By taking time for yourself,  you may essentially reduce your own stress so you can be more effective in your parenting, you may be more likely to take better care of your health by doing things for yourself, and you are being a good role model for your kids by showing them a positive work-family-self balance.  If you think about your kids 20 years down the road, do you want them to continue to make time for themselves?  Show them how to do that by doing it yourself.

Here are 10 ideas to help you make time for yourselves. You may choose solo activities, doing things with friends, or sharing time out as a couple.  If you have a hard time finding child care to make time for yourself, consider a babysitter, respite service, a family member, or a mother’s helper to give you a break.  In some cases you may need to take some time to yourself only at the end of the day when the kids are in bed, but even on these days it is important to make the most of the little bit of quiet time in the evening.

  1.  Treat yourself to a coffee, meal, or glass of wine with a friend.  A little bit of adult conversation can go a long way!
  2. Exercise.  Go for walks or hikes, take a run, go to the gym, sign up for a yoga class.  Any physical activity will benefit your body, mind and spirit.
  3. Look for adult classes in the community.  There are numerous free or low-cost classes, including art classes, cooking classes, and library programs to meet every interest.
  4. Take some time just for yourself.  Read a book for 30 minutes a day, or watch an episode of your favorite show, or just enjoy the sunshine with a few minutes outside.
  5. Plan a date night to help both parents rejuvenate and reconnect.
  6. Plan a game night or cookout with another family.  This will give your kids time to interact with peers while you socialize with your friends.
  7. Consider something to pamper yourself – a manicure/pedicure, a facial or a massage.  These types of activities can reduce stress and help you re-energize.
  8. Join a parent group, especially if you have kids with difficult behaviors or special needs.  Connecting with other parents who have similar challenges can be affirming and helpful.
  9. Indulge in one of your favorite treats – some nice chocolate, ice cream. or other special item you don’t normally let yourself enjoy.
  10. Journal.  Sometimes writing down the things that happen during the day can be a therapeutic tool for processing everything that happens in our busy lives.  For some people, journaling can help plan and organize thoughts for the upcoming days and can also let off steam about frustrating events or situations.  Journaling can also be used to help us remember the things that have gone well, the things we are thankful for, and the things our kids have done to give us joy.

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